Chocolate Love
It’s Friday people, woohoo!! I hope you all have exciting things plans for your weekends. I don’t have much planned other than getting ready to go to NYC – eeeee!! I’m getting the train home on Monday afternoon with my suitcase all packed (I mean half packed..I need room for foodie buys wooppeee!) so that when I get home I can just throw in a few extras but I’ll be all ready and raring to go! We leave at 6am on Tuesday which means getting up at 5am or something – yawn!
Outfit of the day: Oh wow, hello man pose! Don't know what is going on there..Did I mention how much I love these leggings? No? Well I love them a lot.
And yes I did dye my hair!
Thought I'd freshen myself up to head to NYC. Did I mention that I'm going there?! And yes, my leggings are so coming with me.
This past week I have been craving dark chocolate every single day. Yes, this is coming from the girl who only started eating dark chocolate a couple of months ago. I would never have guessed that I would become so addicted so quickly..
I’m a little anxious that maybe all these chocolate cravings are the start of something. I mean we all know girls crave chocolate when it’s ‘that time of the month’ and I’m coming up to what my target weight was when I was in clinics. I never thought I’d make it this far, and I’m pretty scared if I’m honest. But as absolutely terrified scared as I am, I know that it will be a sign that my body is healthy. This is coming from the girl who professionals thought ‘I was a hopeless case’, who thought that when my heart had stopped beating I wouldn’t pull through, who thought I would be ‘dead in two years’. Oh how I wish they could see me now.
No matter how deep you are into your ED, no matter how much you think you won’t recover, you can. If I can come from the brinks of death, and live to say that I’m almost at my healthiest, anyone can if you want it. It’s the hardest thing you’ll ever do in your life. There will be tears, uncomfortable feelings but I truely believe that being healthy and alive is worth it because there is a life of fun, happiness, things to see and do and that involves food!
Anyway, I digress. We all know to stay healthy, we need to listen to our cravings right? Because if we don’t, we are only depriving ourselves and making ourselves miserable whereas if we actually let ourselves have treats, it gives us a healthy mind. And a healthy mind means a healthy body in my opinion. And so my week has been a bit like this…
Carob coated raisins <3 with dried unsulphured apricots and an organic dried fig - I have these everyday for calcium!
My favorite chocolate at the moment <3
Maybe eating a little too much of this...I'm onto my last jar *sniff* You bet I'm stocking up on this in NYC!
Hmm this little number is expensive, but worth it 
And then I read Amanda’s post where she was asking if anyone knew a good chocolate muffin recipe and well, I jumped at the chance as I was already on the ‘chocolate everyday bandwagon’. And as I eat muffins everyday, why not combine the two?!
Chococonut Muffins
(a.k.a. chocolate and coconut muffins!)
Ingredients
(makes 8 muffins)
1 cup whole wheat flour
1/4 cup coconut flour
1/4 cup unsweetened natural cocoa powder
1/2 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 cup maple syrup
3/4 cup soymilk
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
2 very generous tbsp coconut oil
1/2 cup dark chocolate chips or non-dairy chocolate chips
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Line 8 muffin cups or line with paper liners.
Melt the coconut oil until liquid and set aside.
Whisk the flours, cocoa, baking soda, baking powder and salt together in a bowl.
Whisk the maple syrup, milk, vanilla and cooled oil together in a second bowl.
Pour wet ingredients into dry ingredients and stir until mixed. Stir in the chocolate chips. Divide evenly among muffin cups and bake for 18-20 minutes.
If you haven’t made any of my muffins before but planned on doing so, just make these okay?
They are the best I’ve ever made. The coconut flour and oil gives the chocolatey-ness of them a deep, velvety, rich flavor…just do it for me please?
Do you find yourself having cravings at certain times?
Do you have any recipe recommendations using coconut flour?
Trackbacks
- . not all sunshine and rainbows . « . running with spoons .
- . shopping and “smart” snacking . « . running with spoons .
- Healthy, Hot and Happy
- Bento Box-ing « healthninja
- WIMadeW + Favorite Snack « XC Foodie
- Friday Faves | kabochafashionista
- Vegan Mofo: Dark Chocolate Pudding Peanut Flour Muffins | kabochafashionista
- It’s Been A While | everyday oats
- Realizations « Lighter Portions
- Coconuts, smoothies and jet-setting | LIFT weights. SAVOR food. LOVE life.
You should go to the PB&Co restaurant in NYC!
I second this!
Those muffins look great. And so does your hair! When I opened my subscriptions this morning your picture showed up and I though, “wait,did she dye her hair? It looks good.” Have fun in NYC! And that is so great about the chance of mother nature’s gift coming your way soon. I have to say I was less than thrilled when mine came back only because before I lost it I had cramps so bad I’d pass out at least once the first few days. I’m on hormone regulators so it doesn’t do that and I still get it. Anyway, probably tmi there but yeah.
And I crave chocolate daily.
I am so so so so so indescribably and incredibly proud of you, Nicky! You are doing so wonderfully. I remember reading your posts a while back about your first real experiences with healthy fats and all that. And look how far you’ve come! You allow yourself to eat whatever your body craves! And all of your hard work is paying off. I don’t care what the meanie says, you’re GORGEOUS! Seriously, every time you post an outfit you look healthier and happier. Truly glowing! I was going to say if the meanie says something untrue you ought throw a frozen muffin at’m, but that’d be a TERRIBLE waste of a muffin. Boo. And your hair’s brilliant.
I ended up getting some temporary dark brown dye just to give it a go for now since I could NOT commit to a red in the store. UGH! So maybe after 28 washes I’ll go look again. HAHA!
Hmm, about your monthly appearance- I wish I could give you some advice, but everyone’s so different with what they feel before it. I know I tend to crave salties (SALT! What is this savory-ness?) and feel pretty sluggish.
I need need need to try these muffins! Nomnomnom!
Love you, girlie! <3 <3 <3
Ohhhhh yesssss I will be making these this afternoon. Is it crazy that I feel special? Like you made these just for me? Love you girlie, and I can’t wait to try these! Chocolate + coconut = the love of my life. And I love how they use coconut flour. I love the stuff, but it’s hard to find recipes that it works with. I tried making coconut flour pancakes once and… yeah. Don’t try that. They just end up being a gloopy old mess that will. not. cook. One of my favorite recipes for coconut flour is coconut banana chocolate chip cookies http://girlmeetslife.com/2010/07/coconut-banana-chocolate-chip-cookies/ They have a delicious flavor and consistency, and I make them about once a week because my family loves them as well. And cravings? Definitely. I crave chocolate like crazy during that time of the month, and I seem to get really intense cravings for salty foods when I’m thirsty or dehydrated. I’m so glad that you’re healthy and honoring your body. Gah. You’re like a little miracle and it just warms my heart. <3 <3
hey girl! i’ll be using coconut flour in future posts so definitely will have some! (-: XO
And by the way love your posts!
Mmmm! Those look amazing! I can’t wait for my DCD to get here. As soon as it’s here, my spoon is going rightin.
It’s so freaky to get your period back. It’s like “YEEYY MY BODY LOVES ME” but then it’s like “Well…I’m healthy enough to get it again, so that must mean..” When all my friends talk about their period pains, I’m like “you wanna trade?”. You never really know what you got til it’s gone
P.s., your (makes 8) made me giggle, because the 8) makes a sunglasses smiley!
I get amused by the little things
You’ve come so incredibly far, and chocolate cravings are definitely a good sign
I tend to crave chocolate a lotttttttt, in fact I think it’s my most common craving- really good quality dark chocolate, and the best bit is I’m usually satisfied by just a little bit so long it’s every day
Mmm… Those muffins look great! I am definitely going to have to make them.
Do you find yourself having cravings at certain times?
Um, yes. Dark chocolate. Every day. I usually have it after lunch and dinner. I love it, it’s good for me, life is short – why deprive myself?
My theory on why you’re craving chocolate is that, well, you just LIKE the stuff. And that’s perfectly okay. It’s great, actually. I wouldn’t worry too much about it.
And about your period coming back… I doubt a craving for chocolate means it will be that time of the month. Each body is so different, and periods come back at different levels of health for different people, but I kind of doubt you’ll get it back any time soon. Just looking at your picture, I think you still have a ways to go before you achieve health and (re?)gain your menstrual cycle.
My first doctor thought I would get my period when I reached the very minimum of a healthy weight on the BMI chart. My second doctor (a specialist in EDs) told me that the weight prescribed by my first doctor was too low. She told me I wouldn’t get my period back nor would my body function at its best of abilities at that weight. She was right. Chances are, the clinic you went to gave you the lowest, minimum weight you could achieve before they would discharge you. That might not be your optimum weight.
Then again, I don’t know any specifics, so my word probably doesn’t mean much. Just some (long and drawn out!) thoughts.
these muffins look soo good! i can’t eat them because of my looong list of allergies.. but i need some new recipies i can make my growing 6th grade brother who eats nonstop! He loves chocolate even more than any of the girls in the family
. thanks soo much!! also have fun in NYC. i have been there once and it was crazy and full of good unique (and healthy if you search for it!) food. there are alot of cool ethnic markets there too with really weird spices, flavors, and produce! by the way where did you get your leggings? I <3 them!!
You should go to the PeanutButter and company restaurant! Okay so I just sent you a tweet about it.
Deary your story was so touching. It welled up tears in my eyes. Literally. You are so strong and so powerful. I’m glad you can help so many other people with your story. You look amazing. Those leggings are adorable on you as well
Uhm these choco muffins look delish!
Yes I do have cravings at certain times.. and when they come they are intense
girl i am so proud of you and your progress and SO proud of you maturity and ability to realize that you DO need to indulge. you DO need to listen to you body’s cravings. and im extra proud of you for DOING it. can i say do one more time? -tee hee-
and i will probably need to make those muffins now considering how good your other recipe was that i made. (ps aren’t you just so proud of me for actually baking them!! eeee!)
love love love your hair. you are too cute to boot. ♥
You are such a strong fighter! I can’t beleive ‘profesionals’ saw you as a lost case, that’s horrendous. You truly showed them, but more importantly yourself, that you can get through and overcome your darkest battles.
Thanks for the hope!
I just posted a recipe using coconut flour actually! The only problem with it is that is absorbs a lot of moisture so it can make the baked good seem dry. I love it though!
I have been trying to listen to my body and it’s cravings and I’ve found it to be wonderful. Feeling better, more energy, and all around happier.
You look so darling, my love! Everything about you, I could just eat up. Your hair turned out beautifully, and you outfit is precious. I quite like your leggings too. Ive been wearing leggin’s quite a bit lately, they are just all to comfortable.
Baked goods are still a major challenge with me, but one i hope to conquer soon. Maybe I just need a good pumpkin recipe. Any ideas?
Ahhh chocolate!!! This sure is a yummy post! And I gotta say, your hair looks GORGEOUS girl!
Oh my word that pb and company dark chocolate dreams is like a drug, it doesn’t last long in this house haha
Lately I’ve been craving pumpkin like mad, I just can’t get enough of it!
aHHH LOVE THSI POST!! chocoalte is awesomeeee!!! i do like it a lot!!! go for itttt al girl!
Well ya know we sometimes crave chocolate for an endorphin rush and a boost of antioxidants too =) good stuff eh? <3 If they could see you know, their jaws would drop and they would be amazed at how awesome you're doing! <3 So proud of my bloggy bff! Have an ab fab time in NY and take boatloads of photos! cant wait to hear all about your trip!
love you!
Woah….overcome with emotion…I just wish you didn’t have to go through all the bad stuff…..I always say my ED has made me who I am today and that is also the case with you – one of the nicest people i’ve had the pleasure to meet. Love you!! And on a lighter note……Can I just say……THESE ARE THE BESTEST VEGAN MUFFINS I’VE EVER HAD!!!!! They make my lifetime top 3 muffin list!
Er, yes please! They look brilliant as do the carob-coated raisins. I’m so addicted to chocolate-covered ones, I’ve got a sneaky feeling I might be the same with those
You’re such an inspirational person; to have come back and to be as strong, and as gorgeous, as where you are now is brilliant. Have a great time in NYC!
Your hair looks amazing!! I think I am becoming addicted to your blog. I recently switched from a vegetarian to vegan diet and am LOVING it. I actually JUST made your gingerbread muffins (YUM- I also added a bunch of other dried fruit, which works really well in them.) – but I’ll have to try these as well. AND I tried kabocha for the first time! It’s awesome! You are on to something.
AND, I have to say, congrats on almost getting up to your target weight. But know that you could gain a LOT and still be beautiful (you are so tiny you could still gain like 20lbs and still be thin)! It’s not about numbers, it’s all about health and eating what you need. Must be hard to be recovering & in the fashion industry, but there’s soooooo much more to life than weight & appearance. Listen to those cravings, not negative voices in your head. And have a blast in NYC! Buy some new kick-a** clothes!
ohmy, delicious! I’m excited for you to go to NYC, wish I wasn’t getting there right as you’ll be leaving! I actually just made coconut flour chocolate chip cookies – and they were oh so delicious, but use lots of eggs. boo. I’ve been dying to try this recipe, though: http://www.familyfreshcooking.com/2011/05/12/double-chocolate-banana-scones-vegan-gluten-free-recipe/
Love the hair and recipe!! chocolate is always a craving of mine. Lindt (in my opinion) has some of the best dark chocolate
I spend my life craving chocolate, don’t worry about it! Go with your craves, that’s my motto.
You know how much I love chocolate (arrow pointing above) and how much I adore coconut, so these muffins sound perfect. I can never understand why the choco-coco (as I like to call it) combination isn’t more popular. I. Just. Don’t. Get. It. What more in life could you want than coconut, chocolate in a baked good? Shall be trying these sometime for sure!
Have a great time in NYC!
Your f-ing amazing girl. This post is perfect
Makes me so happy to hear that you feel healthy.
Im always craving sweet things after dinner. Or after anything savory really, even if I just have a few sultanas or a piece of chocolate, then im all ready to go haha.
OH! and I LOVE THE HAIR!
I am glad you’re proving those doctors wrong girl! You’ve got a lot of people out here cheering for your recovery! We all believe in you and I am so happy you believe in yourself too!
I’ve fallen in love with dark chocolate really quickly too! The funny thing is I didn’t even like chocolate when I was a kid. Your amazing for making it so much further then anyone thought that you would! Congrats on all your hard work girl
Yeah I needs to be getting me some coconut flour now
Ohmeeegoshh those muffins look amazing!! Lovin the chocolate=]
Bookmarked!
anything with the combo of chocolate and coconut totally wins!
Amen girl, you CAN recover. No matter how low you think you are. Recovery is possible. You are getting closer and closer.
I love dark chocolate, but I almost never eat it straight-up, usually as a protein powder or cocoa powder or in a bar. But these muffins look crazy-good, as do your leggings
I love your style, girl!
I’m not sure what to tell you about the possibility of the ‘monthly gift’, because I’ve never had mine naturally. I have mine now because of hormone medicine, so I don’t really get cravings but I usually get more headaches than normal.
Have fun in NYC, love!
Lovee your hair!!
You are such an amazing inspiration and have come such a long way Niki
I can torally relate to negative doctors telling me I was going to die and I wouldn’t pull through. I still haven’t gotten my periods back but maybe sometime soon. I try not to worry about it to much, I just exercise and eat what I want when I’m hungry and it’ll cone in good time!
Thank you so much for those inspiring words… just when I am hitting a slump, I read them and decided to follow your league, especially seeing how gorgeous you look. And I adore your hair, the colour is amazing!
Embrace cravings – it’s so refreshing to be able to pick up body cues and listen to them! Usually my cravings are for intense sweetness, basically the kind that only really good, dense dried fruit can satisfy
Have a great time in New York – it really is THE most incredible city in the world!
You are awesome
Yep, I have very intense chocolate cravings the day before my period! They go away if I eat chocolate though. and it only lasts a day. Mind you, my PMS was more intense when I had only just got my periods back two years ago – your hormones take a while to settle down! I know it’s scary, going through puberty in your late teens/early 20s, but most of the scary part is the anticipation. Once it’s happening it’s easier to deal with – hopefully you’ll get used to it fairly quickly!
To be honest I eat chocolate on a daily basis period or no period
there’s nothing wrong with having some after meals or for/with a snack! I’ve even been known to eat chocolate porridge for breakfast, just because. As for coconut flour – I’ve given up on it 
it was too heavy for my cakes. But then I like making sponge cakes and you’re more of a muffin lady, and muffins do tend to be more dense!
You are such an inspiration to me, Nicky, and this post just inspired me even more. Who are we to deny our bodies what they’re asking for? Honoring cravings is something I’ve really struggled with, but I know, deep down, that it’s the right thing to do. Our bodies are happy when they get what they want. I can understand how it would feel to be “nearly there”, because it’s happened to me before as well. But girl, keep going, because like you said, there is always hope and we all believe in you. A healthy body is a happy body, and a happy body is a healthy body. This is just the next step, and it’s one you can take.
I thank you, so much, for your positivity. It resonates. <3
And by the way? Your hair looks AMAZING!
Eleanor x
Oh how I can relate to your ed past, I have had very similar experiences with the services. After I last left IP they gave me two weeks before i would be back in. Its now been well over 2 years! I love that your able to listen to your body and what it needs, you really are so inspiring.
I absolutely LOVE your hair – the color is stunning! Ive been wanting to put highlights in my hair. Thanks for sharing such a great chocolate muffin recioe – chocolate makes everything better in my book!
aimee
Im so excited for you to come to New York – i live on Long Island and know the city pretty well so if you have any wuestions feel free to e-mail me – sunnyflwr27@optonline.net
Oooh I’m so jealous! I can’t wait to hear all about it though, have a wonderful time!
NYC is full of fantastic vegan food places. If you have the chance and want to indulge in some ice cream, Lula’s Sweet Apothecary is amazing. Babycakes has good cupcakes, though at $3 each it’s a bit pricey. If you want to pick up inexpensive produce (and don’t mind a bit of garbage smell in the hot sun…) head to Canal Street in Chinatown and walk around a bit. Any of the small ethnic markets will have good deals on fruit and veg. If there’s anything else in particular you were looking for, I may be able to help (I’m from Long Island but I head into the city every now and then) so just hit reply and I’ll come back and let you know
Hey! Long time reader of your blog! Just so you know, they’ve started stocking PB&Co at my local wholefoods in London! EXCITING! Thought I would share the news
So hopefully it will be easier for you to get hold of now. Currently munching on some dark chocolate dreams on rice cakes. Enjoy NYC!
LOVE your hair! I also trust you are going to bring lots of puffins back from the USA! x
The new hair color looks so good on you! I love it! Oh and I’m so happy to hear how far you’ve come :] I think it’s really something incredible! You should be so so proud of yourself! The muffins look amazing. Chocolate and coconut! How can it get any better?
Recently I found a recipe for chocolate chip banana cookies using coconut flour. They looked really good. I have yet to make them though because I don’t have coconut flour. Must get some soon and try them and your chocolate muffins. Have lots of fun in NYC!
Mmm…I think I NEED some of those muffins! I always crave chocolate during the time of the month, but then again, I crave chocolate all the time.
I’m going to have to get some coconut flour before I can give recommendations on how to use it! Keep us updated on how you use it!
Love the hair, it looks really great
The muffins looks so good, i so wish i had any kind of baking skills!
Your hair looks awesome! I love red hair
NYC Is amazing, I love going into the city! You have to do A LOT of shopping my dear and do a huge post about all the goodies you’ve bought.
You’re doing so fab girl. and can I just mention that you look fab? Not only those leggings, but the rockin’ legs you got in’em!!
feeding yourself is important. I’ve only just begun eating chocolate too, but let me tell you I love it!! Feeding myself is important and I’m realizing that eating normal meals is as well. Whoda thunk it. I admire your positivity. KEep with that and we’ll all go far <3
You are doing so awesome lady, and you look amazing as well
I hope you know that because it is quite true!
Everything about this post is fantastic and I am so proud of you for how far you have come
These look fantastic – i’ll be making them tomorrow
I made your muffins today and they turned out soo good. I made a few substitutions though, using what I had. I used peanut flour instead of coconut, honey instead of maple syrup, and regular 1% milk instead of soymilk. Really good! Thanks so much.
This is a great post
Great recipe, but also great insight. Thanks!
I made these yesterday and they turned out GREAT!!! I”m in love ..
I’m making them today again and going to freeze them…but I realized I’m all outta milk!! Do you think water would work…???
Thank you for being such an inspiration to everyone, people who have ED’s or not. I’m newly recovering and facing fear foods everyday, though it’s tough because I can’t say because I ate it, that I’m over it, you know? Muffins + Chocolate = MAJOR fear foods. I’m making your muffins and facing them both! And I bet it’s going to be beyond delicious. And I’ll probably be doing a post about them soon. Hee-hee…Although I don’t have coconut flour, I’ll have to sub. Keep your eyes open for a post coming soon.
You go girl. 
Ah, I totally forgot to post here. I’ve baked these muffins at least four times by now and I really like them. They’re delicious and very quick to whip up – which might be a bad thing because it means I’ll be out of coconut flour again soon
.
Thank you for coming up with this great recipe!
!)
(In other recent news: I hope you’re doing at least a bit better again